Susie Coley

I shall not die, but Live, and declare the works of the Lord….!!

cont, (from the day I died)

on December 15, 2011

When time came for the drive to Tally Robert came and we left together, talking about the trip and whether or not these shots would help my problems,it was a nice afternoon, and we were ready to get in , get out, and get home to head out camping. Everything that day was gravitated toward our trip, when we got to the office it was full, and we waited for a long time that day, longer than usual. But as far as having a bad feeling ( which I usually am prone to feeling) that day I didnt, maybe we were to tuned in to the trip, Robert as well is very sensitive to feelings and such. That day we were just to focused. The only hint I got , was when I was taken back for the IV setup, I had this odd feeling of impending “doom” so to speak….dum du du dum,,,,, smile!!!, even now, after all that has happened, I still have to smile at the DRAMA of it all. I look back, and I can see some of those people that I would know later, sitting there in that waiting room, little did we all know what lay behind the supposedly safe and sterile walls of the office. Little did any of us know what would lay ahead for a chosen few.

You know, we all walk thru this life, completely unaware that we can be taken out , at the blink of an eye. literally. I had heard this my whole life, we all have, from parents, teachers, law enforcers. And we become very complacent , very trusting, especially of doctors. The very ones that are sworn to “first do no harm”. It is almost inconceivable what can really happen, even in a small town. Tally is , of course the capital of Fl. However, in relative size it is one of the smallest as far as size goes.

we, being from small towns, feel safe, even when we know that ,”it can happen to you”. One thing I had learned from my seemingly lasting forever long life, is the  unexpected. Beginning when I was young I have always had the unexpected happen to me. Being a middle age baby, proved to bring me more pain and problems than most kids. This was something I knew, but couldn’t relay to my parents. I grew up hurting, my legs, would scream at night, literally making me scream, what today is casually called”restless leg syndrome” drove me from my bed at all hours to walk the floor, lay on my bed and kick till I cried, I vividedly  remember walking around at night, trying to get my legs to”quit” so I could sleep, go and watch momma and daddy sleep, my brother Steve, my sister,Margie, so much older than me as to be like another momma, which was what it felt like when she would whale on me when I did wrong.!!Nobody understood the pain, the chronic tiredness from lack of sleep, the aching, trobbing. oh to live a day without pain,, seems to be now that I have lived my whole life in pain, and am and forever will be in pain.


But you know, God has been there, even in those times when I layed awake at night, when I was way to young to be awake by myself, but God kept me company, kept me safe, I talked to Him, even then, when I was alone, I knew God, even tho it didnt seem that I would know God, but I did, I read the old testament , and God spoke to those people. How else did they know it was God???? So it has never been strange to me that I always  knew God was there, that He has always been there, and that He will always be there. Even when we dont know that we ourselves are “there”, God is There.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: